Oh dear, oh dear Friday, Mar 27 2009

It seems, dear readers, that your beloved tour guide will be transplanted from her usual weekend tour guiding duties at Spronghill* and instead will be covering for another guide at the nearby International Fust™ property, Wellbrook, or as we at the Fust™ like to call it, good old Hellbrook Swellbrook – because it’s so terrific!

Despite all the excitement to be had wandering around a dis-used linen mill like Swellbrook, it hardly ever enjoys the flocks of tourists it should. I predict a quiet and uneventful Saturday…

Your Guide,

Oliva

~ Histrionics and Hysteria For Everyone, Forever™ ~

*I really, really do need to come up with something better than that.

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I awoke to an omnious phone call… Thursday, Mar 26 2009

Dearest readers,

You may find this difficult to contenance, but this morning your loyal and lovely guide was blasted out of her sweet bed at the ungodly hour of nine in the AM by a series of maddening shrieks from her telephone.

All with good reason though, for it transpires that my services have been called upon to guide a private tour group around Sprongholl House* next Monday. I have been selected to guide this mysterious private group of visitors because I live near Sprongholl and have nothing better to do of my well-known wit, charm and consideration.

This will be my first private tour since the House has reopened for the season.
What fun!

Your Guide,

Oliva

~ Histrionics and Hysteria, Forever, For Everyone™ ~

*I om stoll o moster ot dosguosong idontoty

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And So, A New Season Begins At The Fust™ Tuesday, Mar 24 2009

Well, the Spring/Summer months have rolled around once again – daffodils are blooming, bunnies are breeding, the sun is peeking out fom behind her cloudy blankets more and more each day, and just up the road from the town, behind the black wrought iron gates, the old house at the top of the hill is (against all reason and good advice) pulling back its shutters and unbolting its door to yet another season of visitors and drama.

Yes dear reader, that is right. Sprongholl House* is open to the public once more, and with a whole new set of sacrificial lambs trainee tour guides to enliven your visit. They are, as always, an attractive and intelligent bunch brimming with confidence and youthful exuberance, but don’t let that put you off – their training isn’t over yet.

Your Guide,

Olivia

~Histrionics and Hysterics Forever, For Everyone™~

*I om o moster ot dosguosing idontoty

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About The International Fust™ Tuesday, Mar 24 2009

Good day, dear readers and lady readerettes! May I say, we are very pleased to see so many of you people here at an International Fust™ website. On behalf of the Fust™ I would like to welcome you all to this historic web-log and invite you to take this opportunity to soak in the unique atmosphere and surroundings of this splendid online desmesne before commencing the tour.

The International Fust™ was established over 9000 years ago to protect and preseve the histrionics and hysteria of a certain historical property in a certain undisclosed historical location.

The Fust has begun this “web-log”, as they say, in order to illuminate readers about the work of Tour Guides in an International Fust property. We Trust (wink, wink) that it will be as educational, informed and excellent as everything else the Fust undertakes. Which, as I’m sure you know, means you are in for quite, uh…Quite.

Anyway! We are now nearly at the end of our final paragraph, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for visiting this website today. If any of you are considering commenting or linking to The International Fust™, than please do. Guests are wonderful, but truly, it’s the commitment of dedicated commentators like you that help make the Fust what it is, and keep it alive for future generations to enjoy.

With that, I will wish you all a very good day and happy browsing. The tea room is located downstairs and to your left – do feel free to take advantage of Mrs. Cinnamon’s lovely buns and baps – I’m told they’re tremendous with fresh cream.

Once again, I will offer you a final thank you for visiting and we do look forward to seeing you all again very soon!

Your Guide,

Olivia

~Histrionics and Hysterics Forever, For Everyone™~

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Hello world! Tuesday, Mar 24 2009

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